My primary spiritual practice is to feel my feelings as deeply as I’m able, allowing discordant energy to slowly dissolve and transmute into creative potential.
That’s a heady paragraph. So I wanted to explain what it actually feels like to process emotions. And how that feeling can become a beautiful practice in mindfulness.
The Trigger
Some external event or thought triggers an emotional response. With a big emotion, this feels like an overwhelming sensation: shame, grief, heartache, anger, resentment, embarrassment, anxiety, frustration.
The emotions could run the spectrum, but I’m typically interested in transmuting the energy that feels like it’s going to be too much. This energy shows up as an urge. Get out of here in any way you can is what it screams into my mind.
What Happens in the Body
Two things happen when big emotional energy gets triggered: I begin speaking very, very fast, as if talking fast enough will make the overwhelming feelings go away. And I want to put a plan into action, desperate for any solution that will get me out of these uncomfortable feelings now.
This used to result in chicken-with-its-head-cut-off, the-sky-is-falling interpretive dance mannerisms. It was an attempt to abort.
The Practice
Nowadays, I’m usually aware enough that these big feelings have taken hold of me and moved me out of being present. I immediately remove myself from the scenario and find a place where I can just sit with the big feelings.
As I sit, I do my best to notice what’s happening inside me. The emotional energy often feels as though it’s pushing against the insides of my body and head, trying to escape. A giant bubble of energy blasting my insides open. It’s uncomfortable.
But I continue to just sit and notice it. I lend a certain level of curiosity to it. Hmmm, this is an interesting experience.
Curiosity Over Judgment
As I lend curiosity to the feeling, thoughts come up reflecting other times I may have felt something in the same style and flavor. Sometimes the thoughts grow the emotional bubble and I just sit and notice the expanding energy.
I notice it. I just keep noticing it. I’m not judging it. I’m not trying to get it to go away or dissolve it. I’m simply curious about what it’s going to do. Will it be there forever?
What Happens When You Stop Resisting
And then a strange thing happens. As my resistance to having the feeling subsides, so too does the feeling itself. It’s as if the resistance to having the feeling was acting as a kind of glue holding it in perpetual place.
I continue to notice it and the hardness of the energy begins to soften. I notice it more and I can actually feel the energy pouring out of my body.
The Ease That Follows
Finally, a strange sensation falls over me. A kind of ease. As if I’ve birthed something and now the creation is finished and I can enjoy the fruits of my labor.
It feels good. I feel accomplished. I sit with that ease and watch it move through my body. And then I write down anything that feels salient, anything that feels like it might wish to be communicated.
This is shadow work in action.
If you’re ready to process what’s been running your life, explore the Shadow Work practices.