How much time have I spent trying to get somewhere I am not without really paying attention to what is right in front of me?
Too many times. Living in the present moment has become my focus.
It sounds simple when you say it. Be here now. But the actual practice of it requires constant vigilance against a mind that wants to be anywhere but here.
Dreaming vs Worrying
I love day-dreaming. I build dreaming into my daily routine. But there is a big difference between consciously dreaming about a desired future and worrying that you are not there yet.
The latter, that worrying, has gotten me into a lot of trouble over the course of my life. And even though I slowly get better about feeling that anxiety and dealing with the grief and sadness underneath, I still have unconscious tendencies that I will fall into if I am not very deliberate.
Dreaming feels expansive. It opens something up inside you. Worrying feels constricting. It closes you down and makes everything smaller.
I’ve learned to notice the difference in my body. When I’m dreaming, my chest feels open. When I’m worrying, it tightens.
The Future Robs the Present
The future can actually rob us of the present moment when we spend too much time spinning over the fact that we have not yet hit that ideal we hold so dearly.
But the paradox is that the future comes faster and in more satisfying doses when we learn to actually enjoy what we are doing right now.
I’ve tested this in my own life. The projects I rushed through to get to some imagined finish line always felt hollow when I arrived. The ones I savored along the way felt complete even before they were done.
A New Focus
My focus has become less about how to build the future I want and much more about how do I appreciate what is right here. Living in the present moment means building this moment in a way that satisfies while still stretching me.
I am learning how to be future oriented in that I do not believe I will be 25 forever and I want to build out stability for myself and my family. But I am also recognizing that much of the stability I am seeking comes from being comfortable with what is happening right now.
The stability isn’t out there somewhere. It’s cultivated in here, in this moment, in this breath.
Desperation Stinks
Desperation is a stinky cologne, to quote Super Troopers.
When I am worried about not being in the desired future, I am stinking up the present moment, and everyone and everything around me suffers for it.
People can feel it. They can sense when you’re not really there with them because you’re too busy running calculations about where you should be instead. It pushes them away. It creates the exact loneliness you were trying to avoid.
Now I am learning to see what is right here, right now, and really feel into and find deep feelings of love and appreciation for where I am at and the people I am here with.
This is the practice. Not perfection. Just a constant returning to what’s actually happening.
The future will arrive whether you worry about it or not. You might as well enjoy the ride.
This is shadow work in action.
If you’re ready to process what’s been running your life, explore the Shadow Work practices.