Face Your Fears: The Only Way Out Is Through

My go-to for years was to turn away from problems and find something that was already working.

That was an interesting strategy because it actually felt like it was working, until it did not. Learning to face your fears changed everything.

Candy Dish to Candy Dish

My life was full of happy stuff.

The problem was that my maturation process was starting to stagnate because instead of learning to eat my vegetables, I was jumping from candy dish to candy dish, consuming whatever felt good, but not necessarily nourishing my soul in any real way.

That is when I very slowly started to have a realization: I was not moving in the direction of what I wanted so much as I was running away from what felt too hard.

Every choice I made was a reaction, not a creation. I was letting fear drive while thinking I was in control. The destinations looked good on the surface. But I didn’t choose them. I just ended up there because they weren’t scary.

Scary Until It Is Not

But here is the thing: almost everything worth doing seems scary or hard at first, until it does not.

Had I actually been in a true place of alignment, I would have been completely comfortable stepping up to challenges, knowing I would be able to brilliantly overcome them.

Challenges may not be easy, but that is what makes it feel so worthwhile after overcoming them. If everyone could do it, would it hold as much weight?

The fear I felt wasn’t a warning sign. It was a growth signal. Every time something scared me, it meant I was at the edge of my current capacity. That edge is exactly where expansion happens.

Running from the edge kept me safe. It also kept me small.

Athletes Know This

There is a reason Olympic Gold Medalists get million dollar branding deals. Winning gold is hard. But incredibly satisfying once accomplished.

Athletes know this. They know there is a certain amount of pain is gain that comes with a strong training regiment.

But they are not focusing on short-term alignment to things that feel good right now. Athletes understand long-term alignment and vision. They face your fears head on.

Watch any elite athlete train. They don’t avoid the exercises that hurt. They seek them out. They know that discomfort is the currency of improvement.

The rest of us try to feel good all the time and wonder why we’re not growing.

Staring Problems in the Face

They are never trying to sidestep their own shortcomings. Rather, they hire a team of people who will point them out.

When you face your fears and stare your own problems right in the face, it takes some of the intensity out of them and creates the space for you to start crunching on solutions.

The monster in the closet shrinks when you open the door and look at it. As long as it stays hidden, your imagination makes it massive. But exposed to light, most fears reveal themselves to be manageable.

Not easy. Just manageable. There’s a big difference between impossible and uncomfortable. Most things we avoid aren’t impossible. They’re just uncomfortable.

The Practice

Now when I notice myself gravitating toward easy wins, I pause. I ask myself what I’m avoiding. Usually there’s something harder that would serve me better.

Facing it doesn’t require immediate action. Sometimes just acknowledging it is enough to start. The willingness to see creates the capacity to change.