Listen while you workout, cook, or commute.
Self sabotage is the devil in your life. Not an external demon. The part of you that undermines everything you’re trying to build.
You set a goal, make progress, then somehow destroy it. You know what you want but can’t stop doing the opposite. That’s not bad luck. That’s a pattern.
Recognizing the Pattern
Self sabotaging behavior usually shows up right before breakthrough. You’re about to succeed and suddenly you pick a fight, miss a deadline, or make a choice you know will set you back.
The pattern has a purpose. It’s protecting you from something. Usually from stepping into a version of yourself you’re not sure you can handle.
Success feels like exposure. The devil whispers: who do you think you are? And you listen, because staying small feels safer than risking visibility.
I used to do this constantly. Every time something started working, I’d find a way to blow it up. Different circumstances each time, same underlying pattern.
The Devil You Know
Self sabotaging behavior persists because it’s familiar. You know how to navigate failure. You’ve practiced disappointment. Success is unknown territory.
The devil you know feels safer than the angel you don’t. So you keep choosing the devil, even when you know it’s destroying what you want.
This isn’t weakness. It’s your nervous system trying to keep you in a range it understands. Expansion feels dangerous to the part of you that’s been hurt before.
Recognition is the first step. When you catch yourself about to sabotage, pause. Ask: what am I protecting myself from?
The Fear Underneath
Every self sabotaging behavior has fear underneath it. Fear of being seen. Fear of not being able to maintain success. Fear that if people really knew you, they’d leave.
The saboteur is trying to protect you from that fear by keeping you from ever having to face it. Better to fail on your own terms than succeed and discover you can’t handle it.
But here’s the thing: the fear is always worse in anticipation than reality. The exposure you’re avoiding usually isn’t as devastating as staying small forever.
This is shadow work in action.
Explore the emotional processing practices for outwitting your inner saboteur.
Outwitting the Saboteur
You don’t defeat self sabotaging behavior by fighting it. You defeat it by understanding it. The saboteur has a positive intention, even if its methods are destructive.
What is it trying to protect you from? Rejection? Exposure? The pressure of maintaining success? Name it. Feel it. Let the fear move through your system.
The process looks like this: notice the urge to sabotage. Instead of acting on it or suppressing it, sit with it. Feel where it lives in your body. Ask it what it’s afraid of. Listen to the answer without judgment.
On the other side of that fear is the capacity to hold what you’ve been sabotaging. Not because you forced yourself to stop. Because you processed what was driving the pattern in the first place.
The Real Win
When you understand your self sabotaging behavior, you stop being its victim. You see the pattern coming and make a different choice. Not through willpower, but through awareness.
The devil loses power when you see it clearly. That’s the real win. Not white-knuckling your way through success while the saboteur waits for an opening. Actually dissolving the fear that feeds it.
Then success becomes sustainable. Not because you’re fighting yourself, but because you’re finally on your own side.