I still get triggered by events in my life from time to time.
But I’m learning to rise above that knee-jerk reaction. It’s not about suppression. It’s about shifting from reactivity to curiosity.
The Pause That Changes Everything
When some undesired or unexpected event shows up in my life, instead of flat out rejection of it, I try and take a breath. I pause. I say to myself: This is interesting. I wonder what I’m meant to learn from this experience.
That’s been a practice of mine for many years now. It’s served me very well.
The pause isn’t passive. It’s the most active thing you can do in a triggered moment. It’s the space where you reclaim your power from automatic reactions.
Understanding What Emotional Triggers Actually Are
So what are emotional triggers? They’re those moments when something external activates an intense internal response. You’re not really reacting to what’s happening in front of you. You’re reacting to an old wound that just got poked.
The event is a messenger. The emotion is the message.
Most triggers have roots that go back years, sometimes decades. The coworker who dismisses your idea isn’t the problem. They just reminded your nervous system of every time you weren’t heard as a child.
Why Most People Miss the Gift
Most people try to eliminate their triggers. They avoid certain people, places, and situations. They build a life designed to never feel uncomfortable.
But the triggers keep finding them. The universe has a way of bringing the exact scenarios needed to show us what still needs healing.
Running doesn’t work. The wounds travel with you. They show up in new relationships, new jobs, new cities. Same patterns, different faces.
Curiosity as a Practice
When I became deeply curious and interested in whatever showed up in my life, everything shifted for me. Instead of asking “Why is this happening to me?” I started asking “What is this showing me?”
This is how I practice presence.
The triggered state is always pointing backward. It’s your past trying to get your attention. Curiosity brings you into the present moment where actual healing can happen.
Curiosity also creates distance. When you’re curious about an emotion, you’re no longer consumed by it. You become the observer instead of the reaction.
The Simple Practice
Next time you feel that familiar charge, that tightness, that surge of reactivity, try this: Stop. Breathe. Get curious.
Ask yourself what this trigger is trying to show you. Ask what old story just got activated. Ask what part of you is asking to be seen.
The trigger isn’t the problem. Your relationship to the trigger determines everything.
Triggers as Teachers
I’ve come to see my triggers as teachers. They’re not pleasant teachers, but they’re honest ones. They show me exactly where I’m still carrying unprocessed pain.
When I can meet a trigger with interest rather than resistance, the emotional charge begins to dissolve. Not through force, but through presence.
This doesn’t mean I never feel reactive anymore. It means I’ve created a gap between the trigger and my response. In that gap lives freedom.
The goal isn’t to never feel triggered. The goal is to use every trigger as an opportunity to heal something that’s been waiting for your attention.
This is shadow work in action.
If you’re ready to process what’s been running your life, explore the Shadow Work practices.