I did something a few months ago that I have only really taken seriously in the last few weeks.
I made a list of every request or bid for my time and services that is currently outstanding.
The list was long.
The Full Inventory
I included everything from paid projects still incomplete, entrepreneurial housekeeping that kept getting pushed to a back burner, volunteer projects, people I have promised to help or coach, things I had promised family and friends, personal projects I had committed to but fallen short on, chores around the house that were still lingering, voicemail messages unreturned, overflowing inboxes, and requests for my services that I had left unanswered or tentatively ambiguous.
Embarrassingly long.
Living in the Future
Sometimes it is so easy to think about what is next and ignore what is still right in front of you.
I get bored with projects when they lose momentum, especially when those I am partnered with have lost interest, ambition, or inspiration.
I like to think about how one experience piggy-backs into the next and I have a tendency to live in that daydreamed future more often than not.
Clearing Space
But how can I expect to ever draw in amazing new, bigger experiences when I have left so much unattended to and unfinished in the present?
Where is the new experience to live without my clearing some space?
It is like a completely new awareness has opened up to me that seems so obvious. Do what is in front of you fully and to the best of your ability and let that excellence open up future doors.
Spiritual Laziness
I have observed a certain laziness that shows up in many of my most spiritually tapped in friends. That is actually how I was able to notice it in myself. They were my mirror.
I guess it stems from an intuitive knowing that we are not separate from the world, but rather the world lives within us. But swallowing the world is about being deeply present.
I am taking that to heart and putting myself wholly into the work in front of me. While a bit jagged at first, I am now finding the experience incredibly meditative.
One Thing at a Time
I am starting by doing one thing at a time, instead of attempting to balance a thousand spinning plates at once.
Feeling what it feels like to just be really great at what I am putting my attention towards in that moment without regard to whether any of it matters to some future experience.
I am letting life bend me for my own good, even if my mind screams that it is not worth it.
A New Level of Excellence
My outstanding project list is now getting shorter. I can feel more and more of the energy and space opening up.
How much potential have I held away from myself and my life by thinking too much of the future without being at peace with what was right in front of me?
There is a new level of excellence in my life. It is part new outlook and awareness, part new eyes with which to see.
There is a whole new world out there. Swallow it.