The more open with myself and others I become—the more I expand in personal awareness—the more aware I am of how vividly and vastly I have deceived myself as to who I really am and what I’m actually feeling.
If you’ve been following my personal journey at all, you’ll know that I’m experimenting with this concept—
==> Life is a mirror showing each of us the exact emotions we have repressed from childhood.
==> The hypothesis is that when reality offers me an event, it is a catalyst to get me to FEEL into something that I’ve refused to feel or acknowledge from my past.
That past event—until I feel it—is now superimposing itself onto the way I perceive reality.
Until I heal and release those repressed emotions, reality will continue to give me catalyst events which are designed to inspire that emotional release.
When we FEEL and release root emotions which we have been repressing, life no longer has to give us events which are designed to trigger that release; because the release has already happened and is no longer necessary.
Meaning: when I heal emotionally, reality will reflect back at me anew. My life will shift and change for the better.
If you feel as though you’ve been crying and crying and feeling your feelings and doing all “the work” and life is STILL giving you the same stagnant or frustrating or catalyzing events, then perhaps you’re not getting deep enough into your TRUE emotional state?
Perhaps you’re deceiving yourself—and doing a brilliant job of it.
For myself, I had built such a masterful facade, that I was able to completely deny my true emotional repression and somehow call it and believe the attention to that facade to be personal growth! ?
Now, I’m dismantling that facade and life is moving quickly and there are white squalls and towering rapids and sinkholes and every day feels like I’m in an Indiana Jones narrative and it’s both terrifying and incredible because my facade—thick as it was—is melting away.
If you’re feeling stuck or depressed or unheard or unloved or needy or out of integrity or anything other than brilliant expansion, perhaps you are suffering from a similar affliction as I was—massive self-deception!
These two talks below are an interesting look at how that self-deception might be manifesting in your life. It was in mine—big time.
If you ARE walking around with a massive facade exterior which you have constructed to protect yourself from painful feelings, then these videos might feel so confronting that your mind will go into rebellion against them and you’ll want to shut them off.
I did that—at first.
My encouragement would be to listen with an open mind and try this on as a life hypothesis and experiment.
My results have been intensely life-changing.
Part 1: https://youtu.be/Xi4PfyRXzlg
Part 2: https://youtu.be/dKAFFZZhkv0