This week I’ve been watching old interviews and videos with Kurt Cobain. I’m somewhat obsessed with tragic genius and where it went wrong—if indeed it went wrong at all.
The Fuel of Suffering
Something that pops up time and time again as I deep dive into what makes genius artists tick is the fuel which comes from suffering.
In one interview, Kurt is talking about these chronic stomach ulcers and problems he has and how that’s where all his anger is stored, but that he’s grateful for the pain because it allows him to really emote from a pure place. He says the same of his scoliosis and chronic back pain.
He knew at some level that the tension on the rubberband is useful in propelling us forward.
The Trap of Needing Suffering
Unfortunately, many artists seem to thrive on the creativity their suffering brings. They get caught in the trap of needing suffering to keep the creative juices flowing—needing something to push against.
I wonder if there isn’t something hidden in plain sight about the necessity to properly navigate suffering and the desire which it inspires.
Riding the Waves Meaning
It’s something like life is this big, brilliant, terrifying wave and it can absolutely, in the most devastating of ways, crush and destroy us—or it can provide the momentum and energy to give us an incredible ride. The key is whether we’ve learned to properly surf the wave.
That’s the riding the waves meaning: using the momentum of life instead of being destroyed by it.
Personally, I intentionally go after chaos and big challenges because they have a tendency to pull life force through me. But I’m not viewing them in a fatalistic way. Rather, I feel confident that any challenge that shows up in my life is showing me something I need to feel into fully—and that I have the resources to overcome brilliantly.
Perceiving Too Much
The sense I get is that some people—many whom we call genius—are just perceiving so many more data points of reality than the average person and see so clearly something that looks and feels broken but don’t have the tools to continue processing reality at that level of intensity.
So many talented artists attempt to do so by emoting into the creative process and often do it brilliantly for a time, but find it isn’t sustainable because they still aren’t riding the wave securely on top—they’re just attempting to stay above water long enough to keep from drowning.
Transmuting Tragedy
It’s easy to glorify this kind of tragic genius and just accept that “this is the way it is, life is suffering.” But I want to believe there’s a way to successfully navigate tragedy and the associated suffering by understanding how it vividly inspires creative rebirth.
My journey has been about learning to transmute seeming negative experiences into beautiful and brilliant learning experiences and catalysts for inspired action.
By swallowing the world and perceiving it within myself instead of as some external, unmanageable force, it feels like I’m riding waves better, learning to surf and use the momentum of life to my and others’ benefit.
This is shadow work in action.
If you’re ready to ride the waves instead of drowning in them, explore the Shadow Work practices.