Feeling empty is what happens when you spend your days doing things you don’t want to do.
Hustle culture says push through. Be disciplined. Wake up at 5am and grind. But if you’re grinding against your own energy, you’re just draining yourself faster.
There’s another way. Instead of forcing action, you find where the energy already is and ride that wave.
The Difference Between Discipline and Alignment
I’ve taken cold showers every morning for ten years. I wake up early when there’s something I’m excited about. I’ve done hard things consistently for decades.
But I didn’t start any of those things by forcing myself. I started them when the energy showed up.
For years I heard about cold showers and rolled my eyes. Then I found Wim Hof’s course and something clicked. The way he explained it lit me up. Suddenly I wanted to do it.
That’s not lack of discipline. That’s waiting for the right entry point. The thing that makes the hard thing feel interesting instead of draining.
Why You’re Feeling Empty
If you’re feeling empty, it’s usually because you’re following someone else’s game. You’re doing what a podcast told you to do. What your parents expect. What looks good on Instagram.
None of that is wrong. But if the energy isn’t there for you, every action costs more than it should. By the end of the day, you’re depleted with nothing to show for it.
The emptiness is your system telling you: this isn’t your game. Find the version of this that actually fits you.
Finding Where the Energy Is
Think of yourself as a sailor. You have a sail. There are winds blowing all around you.
You could row. Rowing works. But it’s exhausting and slow.
Or you could find where the wind is and catch it. Same direction, fraction of the effort. That’s what following your interest does.
In any moment, ask: what’s the most interesting thing I could do right now? Not the most urgent. Not what’s on the list. The most interesting.
Follow that. See where it leads. The dots connect in ways you can’t predict from the rowing seat.
The Honesty Requirement
This only works if you’re honest about where you’re at.
When a coach tells you to do something and you don’t want to, say so. “That doesn’t feel aligned for me. Can you explain it differently or suggest something else?”
When a client asks for something you’re not excited about anymore, have the conversation. “I’ve noticed I’m way more effective at this other thing. Want to explore that instead?”
Most people don’t have these conversations because they’re afraid of conflict. But the conflict you’re avoiding costs you more than the discomfort of speaking up.
This is shadow work in action.
If you’re ready to process what’s been running your life, explore the Shadow Work practices.
The Feeling Practice
If you don’t know what you’re interested in, it’s because you’re disconnected from your body.
Set a timer for one hour. Sit with yourself. No phone, no music, no distractions. Just notice whatever sensations come up.
It will be agitating. That agitation is exactly what’s blocking your sense of interest. Let it spin itself out.
By the end, you’ll have at least a few inklings of what actually interests you. More importantly, you’ll have clarity on what doesn’t. Start removing those things from your life.
The Three to Five Choices
Your entire life could be different in three to five choices. You probably already know what they are.
You don’t have to make them all today. But name them. Write them down. Let your brain start looking for aligned ways to make them.
Feeling empty ends when you stop doing things against your energy and start finding the game that’s actually yours to play.