Understanding the self deception meaning in your own life starts with an uncomfortable admission: you’re probably lying to yourself right now. Not maliciously. Not even consciously. But the lies are there, spinning.
I used to lie all the time. Thousands of little white lies and bigger dark lies, all spinning at once. It was exhausting to keep all those false stories going so I’d never be “found out.”
That was me projecting my own fear and uncertainty out into the world. I didn’t want to admit I was a vulnerable human being. I was being a coward.
The Momentum of Deception
My girlfriend explained it to me like this, and it really resonated:
Your choices are like a ceiling fan blade. If you’ve been lying your entire life, that fan blade is spinning really fast in one direction. When you stop the fan (stop lying), it doesn’t just stop dead in its tracks. There’s a perpetual motion and energy that needs to slowly burn itself out.
The more truthful you are, the faster the fan stops spinning in a downward spiral and can start spinning in an upward spiral.
Don’t be discouraged if you start being truthful with yourself and it feels like reality is taking a dump on you. That’s the fan blade slowly coming to a stop, so you can start moving the energy in a new, more uplifting motion.
The Subtle Lies We All Tell
You may avoid giant lies. But we all tell subtle lies to avoid having to feel the discomfort that truth sometimes brings. We tell half-truths to “spare someone else’s feelings” or avoid our own.
Truth-telling can be an interesting game to play with yourself. Can you make it through an entire day without lying to yourself or others at the macro and micro level?
Every day that we tell the whole truth is a day where reality begins to back us up more and more.
Why It’s Worth It
My life got so much better when I started telling the truth about everything. When I started taking responsibility for EVERY situation in my life. When I stopped blaming others and took a good look at myself.
It takes an incredible amount of courage to tell the truth in every situation. But life gets so much better when you do.
I highly recommend truth-telling over the fake confidence lying might give you. That may seem like common sense, but it isn’t.
Truth-Telling Is Wizardry
Telling the truth at the most macro and most subtle levels is worth it. Truth-telling is a kind of magic. It’s wizardry.
Reality will reward it.
This is shadow work in action.
If you’re ready to stop lying to yourself and start feeling what’s underneath, explore the Shadow Work practices.