When I was just starting out as a writer, I was terrified of doing it wrong. I studied how other people wrote. I tried to model my voice after theirs. I was learning, but I was also hiding.
So I reached out to Seth Godin with a question that probably sounded naive: How do I know if I’m doing this right?
His response: “I think you should blog the way you want to, not the way others say. There are some terrific books out there, but you’ll do better if you ignore them!”
What Made It Click
Around the same time, Chris Brogan shared something that stuck with me just as much. He said the best post on my page was the one where I had something personal mixed in. There are plenty of blogs that regurgitate ideas and information. But the reason that big bloggers get big is by always sharing that information from their own point of view.
People like people.
He said my site was entertaining, but the next level was making it useful. Not useful in a transactional sense. He was saying: show people what in these ideas is actually turning you on. Give them something they can take and do.
The Trap of Modeling
I spent months trying to sound like the people I admired. I thought that was how you learned. And there’s some truth in that, at the very beginning. But there’s a moment when modeling becomes mimicry, and mimicry becomes hiding.
I was using other people’s voices as a shield. If I wrote like them, I couldn’t fail like me.
The problem is that nobody wants to read a copy. They want to read a person. Learning to be true to yourself means dropping that shield.
What Actually Works
Make your work your own. Don’t worry about how others are doing it. The rules you think exist are mostly just other people’s habits.
Put something personal in everything you share. There are plenty of sources for pure information. The thing that makes you worth following is you.
Make it useful by sharing why it matters to you. Why did this idea grab you? How are you applying it? That context is the value.
Start conversations, not monologues. Engage people in thinking. Ask questions. Then actually listen.
If it doesn’t feel like play, reconsider. There’s no point in creating anything you don’t enjoy making. The work should pull you forward, not drag you along.
The Real Permission
Nobody else can give you permission to be true to yourself. But sometimes it helps to hear that you don’t need it.
So here it is: You don’t need to sound like anyone else. You don’t need to follow the formula. You don’t need to wait until you’re good enough to share your actual thoughts.
This is shadow work in action.
If you’re ready to examine the patterns keeping you hidden, explore the Shadow Work practices.
The voice you’re looking for is the one you already have. The only thing standing between you and it is the fear of what happens when you stop hiding.
Ignore the books. Create the way you want to create. Be the person you already are. That’s the only thing worth making.