Is Therapy Worth It: The $150 Question

Is therapy worth it? I’m a product of therapy. From freshman year of high school through junior year, I went at least once a week. Sometimes twice. Therapy is what parents turn to when they don’t know what else to do. It’s a way to say “we give up” without really saying it.

The problem wasn’t that my parents did anything wrong. They were terrific. The problem was that I was the most hellacious child anyone could get stuck with.

Not inappropriate in public. Not on drugs. I just questioned the nature of everything. If you couldn’t explain something to me in a way that would satisfy the Supreme Court, your explanation fell on deaf ears. I did what I wanted, to the detriment of everyone around me.

I was selfish. In some ways, I still am.

What Therapy Actually Is

If you ask me, therapy is a really expensive way to talk to someone who will listen without judging and give you a little perspective. An unbiased opinion of what’s happening in your life, as they see it.

Isn’t that what friends are for?

I once spent a year writing letters to complete strangers, picked at random from the phone book. I got so much great advice that I couldn’t keep up with the correspondence. Before you consider therapy, try writing your problems in a letter to five random strangers. You’ll save a lot of money.

The Help Me Help You Problem

Does therapy work? Absolutely. But only if you want it to work.

It’s a way for you to trick yourself into thinking you’re in good hands, so you can completely open up and feel safe. The thing is, if you would just open up and feel safe with a trusted friend, the results would probably be the same.

You are the only one who can help yourself. All you have to do is convince yourself that you’re in control.

That’s the problem, though, isn’t it? We’re so bad at taking responsibility for our own actions. We go to therapists, churches, psychics, so we can have a crutch. Someone else to throw our burdens onto.

But couldn’t we just as easily release the weight of our burdens into thin air?

Whatever Works

I respect anyone’s path to feeling better. Therapy. Church. A weekly group. A funny movie. A long conversation with someone you love.

If you’re seeing results, then it was probably a good idea. At the core level, most advice is just a spin on a few universal truths anyway.

For me, I skip the metaphors and go directly to the source. When I feel down, I put on a funny movie or call a friend. I’ve learned that I don’t need $150 an hour to feel heard.

But maybe that’s just my therapy talking.