House sitting

by Jon Ray on July 16, 2009


There’s something, oddly, thrilling about catching a glimpse of your own naked body in the reflection of someone else’s antique grandfather clock just as it begins its hourly chime. Inanimate objects roar with silent envy, “Dance!” They live, vicariously, through your movements. Your feet move in tangent with each tick, hands sashaying brilliantly with each tock. The echos down the hallway seem to encourage this behavior.

Proceeding outside, you prance about in the garden with a galvanized watering can, bringing vibrant life to every flower you visit. The breeze brings much chatter regarding appropriate conduct for naked persons on the veranda and tickles ever so slightly, pointing out tender areas the sun has never seen before.

As the day’s warmth disappears behind the Crape Myrtle, the earth begins to cool and a set of ripples across the water seduces you into the pool. It is here that a squirrel, wearing a bow tie, drops from a nearby oak and offers to uncork a chilled bottle of Pinot Grigio, assuring that its firm acidity will give it mouth watering appeal. How can you deny?

Though the water is cool, a warmth spreads throughout your body as each crisp sip passes your lips. Lightning bugs dance over your head, beaming down golden light, celebrating your repose. You are alone, but a part of everything. You smile.

Isn’t house sitting fun?

{ 2 comments }

Google suggests you become a vampire

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While playing…er…doing some research on the internet today, I noticed a couple of strange things going on over at Google:
Type in “how to become” and Google prompts you with:

…a vampire!

Type in “i am” and Google then suggests:

…i am extremely terrified of chinese people

Type in “i eat” and just scroll down the list of Google suggestions:

I [...]

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And now for the much anticipated, “Jon Ray looking intensely at things to prove just how emo he can be” video:

*Song: Death Cab For Cutie – Transatlanticism
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The art of reinventing oneself is an often-overlooked, yet critically important ability for anyone who plans to be successful for any extended period of time.
If you do not enjoy what you are doing, find yourself bored or have been playing out the same routine for far too long, it might be time to reinvent [...]

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