time traveler

Your voice

Everyone’s trying to find their voice
Where did it go?
Do I have one?
Did I ever?

You can’t see what’s right in front of you
Your voice lives in your fearlessness
In the hope that he’ll kiss you
The courage to lean in, boy
The fear that it will all go terribly wrong

Your voice is that ringing in your head put down on paper
That singing in your heart released as song
It’s following your sinful nature
Without ever pondering remorse

It’s knowing what you know
And feeling what you feel
Showing love to strangers
And doing something real

Your voice was always in you
But they told you it was bad
You had to learn their language
Match their brand of sad

Your voice is a piercing madness
Not everyone will get it
And you don’t want everyone to get it
Their not getting it makes you more you

Your voice is angry sometimes
Blood-curdling in its timbre
Let it rage
Let insanity consume you

Your voice will whisper with grief
Tell you and others lies
It will attempt to dazzle for affection
Pandering for someone’s focus

Do not let it tell lies
This is the weakness of expression
Courage is standing strong in truth
Even if truth means vast depression

Your voice will shake and quiver
When someone sees into your soul
Put that person in your mouth
And suck on their sweetness

Let yourself be seen and consumed
Your voice is a child that must be nurtured
When shoved in a dark closet and fed dog food
The neighbors will see you as a fraud

Let them see you as a fraud
Own your fraudulence
They are afraid of their own perversions
Put yours out in the open

Your voice is everything disgusting about you
The dirty rag you used to clean up when you messed yourself
It’s beautiful
Hang your sheets out like trailer trash

Let yourself be trash
The landfills have a liberated heat to them that’s rising
Your voice is what you find while rummaging
It’s the egoless power of giving up

Surrender to what’s in front of you
Make that your God
Better than what they use to silence you
Pray to your own piss in the wind

It feels grim, your voice
But then the clouds clear
Your job is to draw the light that penetrates
To shout how it feels to be licked by angels

Your voice comes from seeing
Take the blocks out of your eyes
Tell us about how you never felt loved
Healing stands tall in terrible stories relived

Free your demons
They’ve sucked off your teet too long
The devil isn’t out there somewhere
He lives inside the memories you refuse to murder

Your voice is the blade which cuts your heart out
And hands it to another
The trust that they will be a good steward
The disregard that everything says they won’t

Reckless abandon
You’ll find your voice on the wind
It will be cold and uncomfortable
But you must sail into it

Your voice is not pretty
But it is raw in power
Untapped in potential
Filthy in richness

Don’t tell us what we need to hear
Tell us what you can’t not say
Bleed it onto paper
Or smear it across a bathroom wall

There is no truth
But there is solace
It’s found by screaming out the voices which rattle between your straw-stopped ears

Your voice isn’t perfect
Perfection is a myth
It is the hot water that takes too long to reach the shower head
It starts with frigid blasts that paralyze you

Push through
Relax into
Sink below
Rise above

Don’t listen to anyone until you’ve shouted a million words
Don’t take advice
Live your life to learn your life
Wisdom is knowing you only know what you know

So tell us
We will roll our eyes at you
We don’t care about what you have to tell us
Tell us anyway

Your voice is for you
It is not for others
Others are not even real
They are projections of your failed hopes and dreams, calling you forward

Find your own clarity
And you will become transparent to us
You will become beacon-electricity
A light we flock towards to die

And in dying there is surrender
You taught us that
We gave up because you showed us how
And in reckless abandon, we found our own voice

Your voice was our savior
And yet it was nothing

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