I had to post this as soon as I finished watching because it might be the most accurate portrayal of a text message relationship that I have ever seen. It also happens to be hilarious in a really funny because it’s true kind of way. If you haven’t already, you can read my text message love letter post here and then watch this video to get the full picture of how it all goes down. Awesome! Thanks for sending me this, Laura! ;)

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*Dustin Doering, John Erik Metcalf, Bianca Malinowski & Jon Ray do some “networking.”

The drizzle coming from above head is accumulating on the shoulders of my plaid sport jacket. This wouldn’t upset me so much had it not just come from the dry cleaners only hours before. I’m whining while watching a bouncer meticulously study my driver’s license outside Pangea, the trendy “I’m in Africa, no wait…New York…who cares, they say it’s cool” night club which took over the former Alamo Drafthouse location in downtown Austin.

I hate waiting behind velvet ropes, but such is the price we pay while working our way up through the ranks of celebrity. Perhaps one day. I hold my breath. Walking up the stairs that lead to the club, I’m instantly greeted by one of several beautiful blonde hosts, “How are you boys tonight?” At first, I’m frightened. This type of upfront swooning is the type of thing you usually expect to find just before you pull out four hundred dollars from a corner ATM to blow on “entertainment” for you and those lucky enough to be sitting at your table. What was I walking into?

After getting outfitted with a color-coded name tag that lets everyone there know who I am, what I do and how much money I made last year, I head for the bar. A couple thousand other people had the same idea, so I find myself “excusing” and “pardoning” my way through a sea of people arguing about PR versus marketing, whether social media has any real merit and how successful or unsuccessful Coca-Cola has been with their Second Life efforts. I bite my tongue until it bleeds, refusing to jump into debate until I have a drink in hand.

A girl recognizes me and based on the way she says hello, I realize that this must be someone that I’ve never met in person, but vaguely spoken with over the internet. I picture myself in an iPhone commercial, speaking about how I pulled up her Facebook account just before she approached me and without missing a beat I knew exactly who she was, but it’s too late. “Hey, Jon!” I fumble around for small talk and then her name comes to me and we are lost in conversation for the next ten minutes. Glad to have found a friend, but still eager for a drink, I eye an opening at the bar and jump at it.

As the bar makes my drink (Jager with a 7&7 chaser), I lean against the bar and for the first time have an opportunity to survey the scene. The tribal themed club is packed with the Who’s Who of Austin’s geek chic. There’s a slight segregation in the massive room between two groups. The first; ladder-climbers holding business degrees, wear cocktail dresses or slacks, button downs and designer ties, while speaking of promotions, new hires and lost accounts. They are networking animals, bred for this occasion. Each, one of Susan RoAne’s perfect specimens, their starched collars moving across the room like pieces on a chess board. Business cards in Eggshell, set with Romalian type. The second; the bad boys of Web 2.0, still in sunglasses, though it’s raining and the sun went down hours ago. European jeans, logo-free track jackets, Bill Blass shirts and skinny ties, loosely tied, edges meticulously frayed to pass as vintage give this breed of networkers confidence to argue any issue, any time, no matter how little they know about it. When they leave, they’ll set up their gear and play a house party. Directions will be communicated through a mobile Twitter account. This is NetParty.

NetParty is a mix of business and social networking events, held after-work at nightclubs, lounges, mansions and other cool venues (like Pangea), attended by hundreds of young professionals and designed to make it easy to make new contacts and new friends. I once walked into what I thought was a NetParty event, but it turned out to be a Foot Clan block party in Shredder’s lair. You can understand my logic, though, as I wouldn’t be thrown off in the least if I showed up to NetParty and found myself dropping into a homemade skateboard park. It’s just that kind of party. Everyone is young. Everyone likes to drink. Everyone has an opinion they are willing to defend to the death! How can you go wrong?

I throw the Jager to the back of my throat and slam the glass down on the bar. A legal receptionist/Kindergarten teacher/”just working my way through school, then quitting” type looks at me and smiles and I suddenly realize that I’m wearing a camera on my lapel that is live broadcasting this all to the internet. Somewhere in Massillon, Ohio a 16-year old boy is drooling over this girl and probably thinks that I’m cool because she seems moderately interested in me. I approach her solely to appease his raging teenage hormones and because I can now feel the Jager racing through my blood. Lifecasting serves absolutely no real benefit in everyday life other than the fact that at events like this, people are fascinated by the technology and thrilled to embrace their strange voyeuristic need to be “seen.” The school teacher is no different and for fifteen minutes she flirts with my lapel.

In addition to the 1.6 pound laptop that is broadcasting this event live to the internet, my messenger bag is filled with one hundred-plus carefully folded origami notes, each with a special hand-written note from me, my contact information and a message that asks, junior high style, “Do you want to contact me and talk about social media, marketing or HD video production? Yes, No, Maybe (Circle One).” The ladder-climbers have their thousand dollar business cards made of shaved elephant tusk. The trendies pass around matted-gloss cards from MOO.com with only their name and blog address. I’m working the room with copious success dealing out nostalgia in the form of folded paper. No matter what group you’re in, the geek crowd loves creativity. I smile. Tonight, I’ve got it in spades.

Moving around the room, I spot a group of people that look familiar and share three or four drinks in their company. Now that I’m loose, it’s time to do some networking. For the next hour and a half I will personally meet and share 1-3 minutes with each of 50-60 of 650 or so young “professionals.” When I leave I’ll have danced on a table, hurdled a leather sectional, lost my laptop, commissioned three new clients, passed out the equivalent of half a Moleskin journal, found my laptop and kissed someone’s mom, all in that order. As I sign the bar tab that will bankrupt me when it clears in the morning, I can’t help but feel satisfied. Walking back down the stairs with a few new friends, I relish in the fact that it’s only 9:00PM. Where to next?

NetParty is unleashing its fury on Austin again this Wednesday, February 27, 2007. Click here to RSVP for what will no doubt be another night of nerd talk and debauchery. Remember: Some of you had to pay $25 at the door last time because you didn’t think the RSVP was for real. Don’t make that mistake again, click here.

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I walk into a chain bookstore’s coffee shop and step up to the counter where a teenager that would obviously rather be somewhere else greets me with lackluster enthusiasm. I order a non-fat latte in a monotone voice, then notice a cute girl sitting within earshot, so I offer with more personality to the barista, “How are you tonight?”

My attempt at being chipper sounds forced and after convincing no one I end up just standing around with a slight grin on my face that shouldn’t be there. I glance back over at the girl and watch her reading some magazine, which is thin and has more words than pictures, so I assume it’s something intellectual and this makes her more attractive to me.

It’s Monday night, but I assume that because of the President’s Day holiday things are busier than they would be otherwise. I look around for a table anywhere near this girl, but find that everything is already populated by an interesting mix of high school students, single mothers, three interracial couples and a guy that once tried to get me to join a multi-level marketing scheme that had something to do with cell phones.

The girl takes a bite from her waffle and I make eye contact with her and put forth a lame attempt at a smile. Confused, she looks back to her magazine and pretends to go back to reading it, even though I know she’s wondering if I’m going to come up and talk to her. My latte comes out, breaks my concentration and I hurredly retreat into the Christian Inspiration section of the bookstore, a section that I have never been in before.

I pick up a book called 3*16 and even though I know that it’s referring to a scripture verse, I pick it up anyway because my name is Jon and I was born on March 16th. I open the book, half expecting that it will be able to tell me what that strange coincidence means, but put it back on the shelf before reading a single word.

My iPhone keeps going off and I wonder if I’m the only person that is reminded of Justin Long when I hear the Apple Marimba ringtone? I make my way over to fiction, making sure to casually walk past the coffee shop to see if the girl is still there. She is and I decide its best to round up a pile of impressive books before sitting down, just in case she happens to notice what I’m reading. Once I have my pile of literature, I move into the coffee shop seating area, but cannot find anything close to the girl. I take off my messenger bag and instantly feel eleven pounds lighter.

Now, I’m slowly placing my books on the table, spine end towards her, as if she might notice the titles from twenty yards away. I’m reconsidering my book selection, not because I don’t love the authors, but because Ellis, Palahniuk and Fitzgerald make me look more like a psychopath than an intellectual. Why did I think this girl would be impressed by a series of well-articulated moral decline?

As I stare at her from across the room, hiding behind a recycled coffee sleeve I see an apron draped over her bag toting a CinemaRocks patch. She is standing up now and as she looks in my direction I pretend to be falling in love with Cecilia Brady. My coffee mistress leaves her magazine on the table, throws a nylon Jansport backpack with a University of Texas logo and an Obama ’08 patch over her shoulder and turns for the door, seemingly leaving my life forever.

When she’s out of sight, I casually walk over to her former table and inspect the magazine she was reading. Movie Maker Magazine. With that, I’m in love and there’s only one thing to do. Point web browser to google.com and type these words: site:myspace.com female “university of texas” film obama. I don’t even have to leave page one of Google and there is my love. I visit her MySpace profile, send message, see what happens. How are you using social media in your world?

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I’ve recently come to a cross roads of sorts in my life and have been thinking long and hard about how I should proceed and where I should go. As you know, if you’re a regular reader of this blog, I am a freelance social media and marketing consultant for companies that are looking to stretch their advertising dollars by combining social media with traditional advertising models. I’ve enjoyed a great deal of success, as have my clients and in January I was offered an opportunity to take my small, but ever-expanding company to the next level and partner with some bigger players. I was excited at first, then conflicted, then disappointed, then just confused. Do I really want to sign a contract that guarantees I’ll be working 40+ hour weeks. Do I care about money so much that I’m willing to throw away my time freedom for financial freedom? How do you balance the two? So, I’ve taken the past two weeks off from blogging and most of my consulting work just to think about what my goals in life really are for the future?

So, what are my goals?
In a recent late night Twitter-thon, I stated twenty things that I wished to accomplish or acquire in 2008. That list is as follows and is in no particular order:

1. I want a new car. A brand new car. I don’t even care that buying a new car is a poor investment because all my life I’ve bought year old (or older) cars and now I want a brand new one. That’s just an experience that I’ve decided I deserve…new car smell.
2. A better sense of where my true passion really is and what I should do with it.
3. More income, much more; with less work, much less.
4. To take a trip to Europe, have a blast and stay as long as I want.
5. Then, after Europe, hit South America.
6. The financial means to share all my dreams with friends and loved ones.
7. I want to be in the best shape of my life without having to work very hard at it, I expect it to just happen somehow and know that it will.
8. Write a book, a screenplay and a TV show; sell them all with great ease.
9. To learn more about art, wine, foreign culture and pop culture simultaneously.
10. To learn how the intellectual property business works and milk the crap out of every good idea I have.
11. To feel a constant connection will my inner being and grow spiritually and emotionally with everything I do. (Maybe this should be Number 1)
12. Find the love of my life. (This doesn’t have to happen in 2008, but some fun play dates will be appreciated.)
13. Be completely happy in everything I do and every decision I make.
14. Get an Apple endorsement to pay for my iPhone bill. :)
15. Publish memoirs that I’ve yet to write about all the fun things I’ve done and adventures I’ve been on in the past and future.
16. Get to the point where someone is managing my affairs, campaigns and finances for a change.
17. Have the option to be lazy and do nothing, but the passion and desire to do great things.
18. Live a carefree life, full of wellness.
19. Be publicly recognized for something spectacular.
20. Feel more and more energized with less and less sleep.

My Goal Assessment
After taking a look at my goals, (which were spit out as quickly as I could think of them via Twitter, so that I would not talk myself out of what I really wanted) I realized that while being financially free to the point of being wealthy is important to me, the majority of my goals require more time than they do money. I’ve never been good at being locked inside an office and when I reminded myself of that, it was clear that I needed to take a different approach to what I was doing with my life. I love consulting work, I really do. But, I like doing a little bit of consulting, adding a ton of value for my clients and then taking a reasonable pay check for services rendered. I honestly think, that getting into a situation where I am servicing 25+ clients a week (which was proposed to me) would hinder my performance, as I would not be able to give the personal touch that this type of consulting so desperately needs. Thus, I’m still consulting, but I’m not joining any larger organization. I’m still adding value for my clients, but I’m not going to be taking on 100 more any time soon.

I need to be young again!
What I’ve realized is that, for me, finding a form of residual income is the most practical approach to getting what I really want in the least amount of time. So, as of now, I’m getting into the intellectual property business and taking it by storm. In theory, this will allow me the time and financial resources to do some of the things I’ve been missing out on. You know, like being a 23-year old kid! I love being a professional and I love all of the contacts and friends I’ve made through all of the businesses I’ve been involved with in the past. I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but I need a change of pace. I need to skin some knees and get into a little trouble. So, I’m testing the waters in some different swimming holes to see if I can find something more comfortable.

What does it all mean, Jon?
Well, I suppose, the main difference is that you’re going to find that this blog is not specifically marketing and social media-centric anymore. While I will still talk about those things, because they are such a huge part of my life, I’m also going to start talking about other projects that I’m testing and whether they’re working out or not. I might blog about my travels; where I am and where I’m going. Should I find myself in the throws of a love triangle that is sending me through an emotional roller coaster from hell, guess what, you might hear about it.

Should you Unsubscribe?
The other night I polled my Twitter community with this question, “Is it okay to have a blog that is scatterbrained, if it helps me work my thoughts out? Does that affect my readership?” The overall response was that if you blog with passion, people will come, which I know to be true. And yes, I might get a little scatterbrained. That being said, I fully understand if you need to unsubscribe to my blog. After all, the premise of this blog has been marketing and social media since its inception and it always pisses me off when people change their content from their original focus without warning (sorry, it just upsets me). But, if you’re one of those people that is interested in how a 23-year old kid is trying to find his way in the world and want to know if he’ll ever discover the path to true happiness, then you might want to stay subscribed. Either way, I’ve enjoyed having you all as readers and even more so, I have enjoyed writing this blog. Of course, I want to continue to enjoy writing this blog, which is why you’re going to start seeing some changes.

In closing
Now you’ve been warned, so there shouldn’t be too many complaints, I hope. Of course, constructive criticism is always encouraged in the comments section. It would be great to hear about how you found your way to whatever it is you’re doing now that you love. I’m a firm believer in never doing anything unless it feels right and makes you happy. I have left many well-paid positions at corporate engagements because of this philosophy and have always found that it was for the best. And that goes for more than just employment opportunities. I’ve found that philosophy to be true in all of my relationships, living arrangements, fashion style, etc.

What do you love? Are you happy? If not, why?
It amazes me how many people are unwilling or unable to bring themselves to deviate from the path they’ve already started on, no matter how miserable it makes them. Fear of the unknown is reason enough for many to just put blinders on and head in only one direction for the rest of their life. Are you happy? If so, I’m glad, but if you’re not happy, why is that? It’s never too late to turn over a new leaf and go after something that will bring joy into your life. No one should be afraid to fight for the enjoyment of their lives. So, cut out whatever is making you unhappy and go find something better. That’s what I’m doing and the thrill of the chase is invigorating!

Side Note:
I have imported all of the blogs from Follow the Velcro into this blog and they are now officially merged. My lifecasting experiment is, for the moment, on hiatus due to a faulty battery pack that had to be shipped into the manufacturer. Should I decide to continue lifecasting (which is doubtful, because other than a conversation piece, I found it to be useless in a 24/7 settting), then I will begin blogging about that here at Who Is Jon Ray? Hopefully the import didn’t screw up your feed readers at all. If so, my deepest apologies. It will not happen again, as that was a one time thing.

Thanks, everyone!

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*This is the closest some of us come to real world networking. Photo by Photos o’ Randomness
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That’s right. The real world is still out there, even though we pretend it is extinct and at the end of this post, with the help of a friend, I’ll give you five of my own unique ways to work the room and effectively network in the real world.

I think it’s funny to see people talk about how crucial social networking is in the various virtual worlds that we all inhabit. Yet, when it comes to doing any sort of networking in the real world, those very same people are tied to the wall, sipping cocktail after cocktail and talking to no one in particular. Of course, that’s the beauty of social networking online. There’s never the pressure you feel when you walk into a large room full of people. It’s a lot easier to send a message over Facebook, than to weasel your way into a circle of people, mid-conversation, without seeming too obtrusive. If you’re the type of person that turns white every time you walk into a conference or industry mixer, then I’d like to prescribe you a healthy dose of Thom Singer (Some Assembly Required).

Thom was recently quoted in a Forbes.com article titled, “Party Your Way To A New Job.” Which is pretty much a mantra for how I live my life. Thom says this:

…….Now that you’ve got a list of people to talk with, make sure to get there on time. Arriving when there are fewer people makes it easier to get time with the party’s hosts and the board of directors. For people who feel shy about meeting strangers, getting there while the crowd is small is much easier to manage than entering a room full of 200 partiers already having a good time, says Thom Singer , author of The ABCs of Networking.

I had the pleasure of meeting with Thom the other day, as he and I are both Austinites. For an hour and a half we swapped stories about networking online and in real life. It was really nice to meet with a guy that actually “gets it.” If you’re the type of person that needs a reminder from time to time on how to connect with people in the real world, then Thom Singer is someone you should start studying. And I’m not just saying that because he wrote this flattering post about our meeting at Starbuck’s last week. Thom, you made me blush!

Subscribe to Thom’s RSS feed, as I will be guest blogging over at Some Assembly Required about finding passionate people within your organization and harnessing that passion into something of value.

For the time being, here are five of my own unique ways to work the room and effectively network in the real world:

1. Get rid of your business cards. I know that many of you have a couple of withered business cards that have been sitting in your wallet since 1993. I try to set a minimum at conferences depending on its size of how many I’ll hand out. I’ll put 25 business cards in my pocket and know that I can’t leave until I’ve met and passed them out to at least that many people. If you don’t hand out your business card, there’s really no point in having one, other than its neat color. Is that bone?
2. Scour the wall. If you’re the type of person that doesn’t do so well in real life social situations, then find someone else that is more terrified than you. Look along the outskirts of the room you’re in and find the people that are keeping to themselves, pounding cocktails. They’re more nervous than you and desperately want someone to talk with. Introduce yourself and find out what they do, then tell them what you do. Now, you can attack the rest of the room as a team. You can introduce him/her to everyone and he/she can introduce you. You’re like the dynamic duo!
3. Start smoking. Now, I think smoking is a filthy habit, but it certainly allows for membership to a unique networking opportunity. If you can stand the secondhand smoke killing you early, then head outside from time to time and mingle with the smoking crowd. Learn to always carry matches (a lot classier than a lighter), so that you can be someone’s savior when they forget theirs. Smoking is the one activity that will always put lower level customer service reps in the same room and conversation as their nicotine loving CEO.
4. Know your elevator pitch. If you’re going to a conference or mixer, someone is going to ask you what you do. Have something prepared! It amazes me how many people cannot tell me what they do without stumbling all over their words and sounding like an idiot. Practice in a mirror or with friends your two sentence elevator pitch of who you are and what you do. It never hurts to throw in a joke if you’re good at that sort of thing. What really matters is that you sound like you love what you do and say your pitch with enthusiasm and passion. People eat that sort of thing up.
5. Memorize the lay of the land. People don’t realize this, but knowing where you are, what the event is about and where the restrooms are located can be some of the best conversation starters out there. Before you go to an event, learn the background information on it, who the hosting parties are, where they work and what they’re all about. It’s amazing how just having the answer to the most basic of event questions makes you seem like you’re a conference expert. Do a little homework and you’ll be the goto guy for event information, history, conversation and potty breaks.
6. BONUS: Follow up. This is the most important one, but many people never take the time to do this. After a conference or mixer, you’re hopefully holding quite a few new contact names, numbers, emails, etc. When your hangover wears off, do some quick research and find out some additional information about the people you met. Then, send them an e.mail and tell them that you enjoyed meeting them. I usually try to find a blog entry that I have written that might relate to their particular industry or work situation and enclose this with my email. This quick, friendly reminder is a nice way to further your conversation with that particular person and make sure that they do not forget who you are in the future.

This list could go on and on, but I’ll stop at five (plus a Follow Up bonus). If you’re looking for more excellent ways to network in the real world, head on over to Thom’s blog or pick up a copy of his book, The ABCs of Networking. If you think you’re a networking expert, why don’t you share some of your proven strategies in the comments section. How do you go about starting conversations with people in real life? Better yet, how is networking in real life similar or different than networking online in a virtual world? How has networking online changed the way you network in the real world? Your thoughts, as always, are what makes this blog valuable. I’d love to hear what you have to say.

P.S. If you were wondering, other than Thom Singer’s advice, I learned everything I know about networking at a party from this video. Enjoy!

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