Comments on: On Being a Nice Guy

By: escarondito

escarondito — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 00:20:29 +0000

woah woah woah….”As soon as I come across as having an opinion or showing I may be just a tad bit smarter then the guy I'm currently seeing in any category he tends to bolt as well” that part just plain makes no sense…stop hanging around idiots….many guys want girls with opinions not subservent know-nothings…i only know frat guys like that

By: ilai

ilai — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 18:31:56 +0000

why is it that dating is so complicated in the first place? why does one have to act like they aren't interested or act like a total tool to keep someone interested back? The relationship I'm in now didn't start like that (luckily) but I've found that generally when you act like you care about the person you actually care about they turn away- it goes the same way for girls as it does for guys. Why can't it just be simple?

By: greg

greg — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 21:54:30 +0000

Jon, there's a huge lesson here, but I'll explain it to you when you are a little older.. lol
Have a great weekend.
Greg Worthington

By: apples

apples — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 23:04:20 +0000

Susanawalsh up there is right – girls do tend to like the bad boy, but it rarely lasts long. Although I wouldn't want some to “tame”, or change, there is something sexy about the guy who's not worry about messing up, who talks to anyone about anything, and kind of annoys you in a way you that makes you not quite able figure out why you like it so much…

And then you get to know him and find out he really is just a sweet, thoughtful guy after all. It's a good thing. It's like…dark chocolate. A little bitter when you at first, but when you take the time to really taste it you'll find the sweet caramel inside.

By: Megan

Megan — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 02:22:26 +0000

How about you just be yourself? Is he some combination of sarcastic and nice? I think that girls are skeptical of nice guys because we just don't think that a guy could possible be this amazing. As for us girls we have our roles to play to. As soon as I come across as having an opinion or showing I may be just a tad bit smarter then the guy I'm currently seeing in any category he tends to bolt as well. So I think the better question in all of this is why do we have to play so many games.

By: Pat

Pat — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 22:57:39 +0000

Being the sarcastic dick is a great way to hide the fact that you're a closed-minded simpleton who equates "being nice" with being a chump who will follow a girl around on a leash buying her presents and giving her endless compliments. You'll score plenty of hookups with insecure women and get an awesome reputation as an idiot.

Confidence is sexy, but you don't have to put women down to gain an equal footing with them, and men who dominate relationships this way just encourage the chauvinism so prevalent in our society today.

Jon and Nick have it right when they say you can be teasing and playful without being an asshole. If you go into a relationship with a girl with the confidence that you're equals (i.e. obviously, you both want each other, but you don't need each other - you're strong, smart individuals), you have much less chance ending up either the jerk who treated her like garbage or the loser who wouldn't stick up for himself.

By: Hallie O'mally

Hallie O'mally — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 20:31:13 +0000

you gave up mr. nice on Christmas eve day! well, good luck w/ mr. mean, you have a lot of competition out there : )

By: Julie

Julie — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 19:28:20 +0000

I think the relationship between Winona Ryder and Ethan Hawke in “Reality Bites” best sums up the conundrum/cliche. Women do like the asshole- they're more intriguing at first. But yeah, the games get old- and then you just want someone with the same sense of humor as you. Then you can both laugh at the same stuff. Just my 2 cents.

By: Stever_Robbins

Stever_Robbins — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 18:10:21 +0000

I read in a social psych book ("Influence" by Robert Cialdini) that people most like jerks who they think they've had a hand in reforming. They like reformed jerks *better* than people who they like without the jerk phase.

One of my old bosses used to do this deliberately. He would abuse his new assistants and then treat them nicer over the first several weeks. They ended up very loyal and devoted to him.

So Nice Guy Jon, just realize that Sarcastic Jon is your tool to get what you want. Isn't that nice?

By: Jon Ray

Jon Ray — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 00:29:20 +0000

that is the best way that anyone has every put it…from my experience, you're exactly right