Imagine that you have a watermelon and you are somehow able to fasten a rope around this watermelon. Now, take the other end of this rope and tie it to the backside of an all-terrain vehicle. Take this watermelon/vehicle duo and drop it onto an ATV Superquad dirt racing track. Rev up the engine, drop it in gear and floor the accelerator with your foot. Really get after it on the course, taking corners as sharply and jumps as fast as you possibly can, so that the watermelon really takes a beating. When you’re finished and you feel that there is no possible way you could inflict anymore damage to this watermelon, get off the ATV and look at the remnants of the piece of fruit. The way that watermelon looks is the way my head felt when I finally woke up today at 5pm. This past week I have been on the bender to end all benders.
I do not typically drink this heavily (well, that’s a lie, I do), but in light of a book deal I just signed, I will stop drinking for 90 days and thus, felt a final hurrah of sorts was in order.
Over the next 90 days, I will be writing about the impact that removing all alcoholic substances from my life has on my social life, career and physical fitness. As a 24 year old in the entertainment/media business, my entire life revolves around alcohol in one way or another. Whether it is happy hour with a client, a networking event with a colleague, or a drunken hook up with some floosy in a skirt; my entire life has a very close bond with alcohol. When you take that away, does it change the entire dynamic of how you live your life? Do you still want to hang out with the same people and do the same kinds of things? Does everything you used to think you liked now annoy the crap out of you? Will the holidays still be fun if I’m not guzzling eggnog like it’s my freaking job? And finally, am I an alcoholic? Will I even be able to make it through 90 days of sobriety?
This is day one of a new, sober lifestyle. I hope it doesn’t suck.
